5 Rules to Arguments
Be mad at me, but don’t insult me. Just because you are angry it does not give you the permission to be mean.
Be mad at me, but tell me why you are upset, don’t just assume I know (or should know!).
Be mad at me, but don’t broadcast it to others. Leave your arguments off of social media.
Be mad at me, but don’t forget all the good things about me that you like.
Be mad at me, but also remember all the times I have forgiven you. Offer me that same grace.
Arguments in itself isn’t the problem in relationships. Rather, it is how the couple argues. Avoiding blame, criticism, defensiveness and stonewalling is crucial in maintaining balance, helping your partner to hear you and to complain without risking the relationship.
Paul Lucas is an award-winning marriage counsellor practicing from his office in Burlington, Ontario. He has seen hundreds of couples all across Ontario, and by using Relational Life Therapy, he has been able to help couples get unstuck from unhealthy communication patterns and learn how to fight with each other that produces successful change.