3 Steps to Apologies

Apologizing can either land perfectly with your partner or it can get you into further trouble! Here are 3 simple but crucial steps in having your apology land perfectly.

STEP 1 - Take Ownership!

If you are going to say sorry, you must take ownership. “I am sorry I did… I have done that before, so I know I need to find a different way of doing it”.

STEP 2 - Empathy & Compassion!

Imagine what it must have been like for your partner to experience what they did. See it through their eyes. “I can understand why you would feel hurt by what I did. I am really sorry”.

STEP 3 - Commitment to Change!

Saying sorry and that’s it will not be enough. Share with your partner how you are going to try to handle it differently next time. “Next time I find myself feeling overwhelmed I am going to take a deep breath before responding to see if that will slow me down a bit”.

So when you combine all 3 steps it could look something like that:

“I am sorry I didn’t call you to let you know I will be late coming home from work. You talked to me before about how frustrating that is for you and I can see why it would be. Going forward I will be sure I plan my day better and if I am going to be late or even suspect I will be, I will message you right away.”

This is an example of a couple going from harmony — to disharmony — to repair — back to harmony. If you feel your relationship needs help with this reach out.

Paul is a marriage and relationship counsellor that helps couples communicate effectively so that they can feel seen, heard and respected. He knows that healthy relationships do go from harmony to disharmony. The important part is being able to repair so that you can go back to harmony again.