I help couples and individuals with their relationships by…
helping them uncover the real reasons why they are not getting along.
unpacking the trauma they may have had as a child and see how that trauma is impacting them today.
teaching techniques that they need today that actually work!
We break the rules of
traditional couples therapy.
Direct & Honest. Unlike many other modalities, I use a direct, no-nonsense approach. No hiding behind text book rules.
Taking Sides. We don’t stay in neutrality. Sometimes we need to take sides as not all problems are 50/50.
Homework & Accountability. Customized homework for in between sessions that will encourage change and accountability.
No Therapy Lingo. We stay away from typical lingo, like “how does that make you feel”. We will have real conversations.
Pro-Marriage. Not all couples therapists are pro-marriage or even have a positive attitude towards marriage.
I help you unpack your stuff. Most couples that come in have years and years of resentment built up. They have been hurt over and over. I will help you unpack it so that it is more manageable. Isn’t it time to start feeling lighter?
I will help you stay focused on your purpose of even coming to counselling. We will check in with each other often to make sure we are heading in the right direction.
I will provide a safe space for each of you to talk and share without being interrupted by your partner.
Couples Intensives
3, 4 or 6 hours straight of intense therapy
Couples intensives are gaining popularity for couples who want change now. Typical couples counselling happens over 8 to 20 sessions and over a period of months. Sometimes we are ready to do it all now.
Couples Intensives may be for you if:
you have done therapy before but it didn’t work for you
you both are committed to strengthening your relationship and doing the hard, intensive work
you both are ready and willing to take personal responsibility for your part in the disharmony of your relationship
you want to turn conflict into connection
you want to gain skills in how to be in a relationship
you want to regain a partnership
you want to learn how to manage your triggers
you are committed to moving from “me” to “us”
Where Relational Life Therapy and The Gottman Method Meet.
We combine a direct Relational Life Therapy style with practical Gottman techniques — a rare but powerful mix. This lets us do deep, focused work on your family background and the “wounded child.” We look at how that wounded child became the adaptive child and how those old patterns are now running your relationship.
In sessions you’ll identify the unconscious habits that hurt your partnership, practice new behaviors, and notice real improvement in how you talk and connect. We may address grandiosity, shame, emotional walls, or lack of boundaries. Together we’ll map the repeated “dance” you’re stuck in and learn what to do instead.
In-Person and Virtual Counselling
Our Burloak Drive office, easy to reach from the 403, offers in-person counseling in a neutral setting away from home. Face-to-face sessions let you feel the therapist’s and your partner’s energy, which can improve the process.
We’ve helped individuals and couples in Burlington for years, with clients coming from Kitchener, Niagara, and Brampton. Since 2016 we’ve also worked with couples across Ontario, from Thunder Bay to Ottawa and Windsor.
Virtual counseling became common during COVID-19. We already offered secure, privacy-compliant video sessions, so clients can skip traffic, save time, join from work or their car, and schedule more easily.
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Rated 4.9 by hundreds of clients who experienced a transformation of their relationships.
Award winning including Top Marriage Counsellor in Hamilton and Burlington from 2016-2025, and the Silver and Gold Award by the Burlington Community Awards.
Frequently Asked Questions
How does Relational Life Therapy help my marriage?
Different from all other modalities, RLT helps couples make drastic changes quickly. Not only do we empower the latent, will bring down the blatant. We work with the inner child, the family of origin and by doing all this, we help couples find ways to truly connect with each other. It’s truly amazing work!
What exactly is a couples intensive?
Couples Intensives are longer sessions. 3 hours minimum, can go as high as 8 hours. There can be huge benefits by having these longer sessions. We can get right to work right away, less stopping and going, can do deeper work and easier to schedule rather than weekly sessions.
Are there particular couples that you like to work with the most?
I know after working with thousands of couples, the ones that benefit the most with a Relational Life Therapy approach are those who are committed, engaged to the process and have an emotional maturity that allows them to reflect inward.
Paul Lucas is a marriage, couples and relationship counsellor in Burlington, Ontario. For over 12 years he has helped hundreds of couples through infidelity, communication issues and life transitions. Couples therapy Burlington, Couples counselling Burlington and Marriage therapy Burlington is available for in person sessions at the Burlington, Ontario office. Paul also provides virtual sessions for all residents of Ontario and across Canada. If you are needing couples support or individual support with your relationship you can reach out to Paul to schedule your first session. Paul is a well experienced counsellor that helps couples through infidelity Burlington, communication Burlington, pre-marital counselling Burlington and couples conflict Burlington. Paul has won several awards including top marriage counsellor Burlington, top marriage counsellor Hamilton.