Micro-Cheating. 5 Things to Stop Doing Right now!
Having worked with hundreds of couples through cheating and infidelity, it had become clear that in nearly all situations, the infidelity began as micro-cheating.
Save your marriage. Stop doing all of these micro-cheating behaviors:
Contact with the ex. If you are in a committed relationship you should not be having contact in any way with your ex. None. No social media following, no texts, no emails, calls or friendly meetups. This is walking on the edge of infidelity. Exceptions would be if you and your ex have a child together. In this case, it is for the benefit of the child that the two of you maintain a structured relationship that is governed by mutually acceptable boundaries. Mutually accepted by you and your current partner.
Secret friends. You should absolutely not have friends of the opposite sex that your partner is not aware of. If it’s a secret, it’s micro-cheating! No hiding.
Secretly messaging someone. Even if you are not doing anything “wrong”, you should not be secretly messaging another person. If you are hiding your phone or turning it on a slant so that your partner can’t see what you are doing, that is micro-cheating.
Flirtatious joking. Complimenting, laughing and touching arms, saying comments that you would not say in front of your partner, is micro-cheating. You need to stop that.
Complaining about your partner. Again, walking on the edge on this one. You must stop complaining about your partner to someone else. You are suppose to lean towards your partner, not lean towards others.
If you find yourself reading this list and recognize that you may be doing one of them, come clean to your partner today. Get that weight off your shoulders. Tell them and recommit to no further micro-cheating. These are all examples of having poor boundaries that more than likely will become infidelity.
Paul Lucas has worked with hundreds of couples through infidelity, cheating, poor boundaries and micro-cheating. He has seen so many couples go from something innocent, like talking to an ex, to full on infidelity with the marriage and family on the brinks. Paul sees couples in person at his Burlington office and virtually by video across Ontario and rest of Canada. If you find yourself in a relationship that needs some help, reach out to Paul and set up a first appointment to get you and your partner back aligned.